Eat Write and Exorcise

a blog by Scott Powell

Archive for the month “December, 2011”

Unleashing my inner twelve year old.

 

Beagles

You’re made of meat,
so I’m sure you’d be quite tasty.
But you’re too cute to eat,
So let’s not be so hasty.

The butcher charges by the pound,
and the economy’s not doing well.
But you’re such an adorable hound,
that I fear I’d burn in Hell.

Your trust would make you easy prey –
but would it, for one with moral sense?
Or is it weakness that makes us say,
instead we’ll share our pittance?

 

Education Doesn’t Always Help

Even pedants
When their bladders are full
Will do the pee dance
‘Cause they’re so uncomfortable

 

Angst in My Pants

Got angst in my pants
My girlfriend can’t stop gigglin’
Got angst in my pants
No reaction to her wrigglin’

Got angst in my pants
Don’t know why she thinks it’s funny
Got angst in my pants
She can’t get none from her honey

Got angst in my pants
The blue pills just aren’t workin’
Got angst in my pants
Though she’s diligently jerkin’

Got angst in my pants
We’re gonna try to get some sleep
Got angst in my pants
So now I lay here countin’ sheep

 

I will now attempt to reign him back in. Wish me luck.

The Desert

I love the desert, and one of the things I love is that its beauty can be elusive. Not that the desert doesn’t have abundant beauty, in fact once you’ve found it, it can be as breathtaking as a waterfall in Hawaii. The desert, however, doesn’t care what you think of it. It sometimes even hides its beauty behind a cloak of thorns, treacherous terrain, and a hostile climate.

However, if you are determined, you’ll find intricate patterns of color caused by the varying mineral content of the rock and soil. You’ll find rock formations that look delicate, even fragile, but will stand for thousands of years. If you look closely enough, you’ll see the iridescent carapace of an insect or the luminescent, fiber optic quality of a mineral such as selenite. Agate and quartz add to the magical quality that is there waiting to be found. The majestic bighorn sheep, the trickster coyote, the kit fox, the cottontail rabbit, the horned lizard, and the ground squirrel all call the desert home. Even the cacti grow in almost unbelievable shapes and sizes, and can have large velvety flowers of purple, yellow, and white. If you pay attention to the scents, you’ll find the incredible fresh smell of earth and the creosote bush, particularly when a storm is brewing and the plants open to invite in the moisture. These are but a small percentage of the beautiful, fascinating sensory experiences the desert has to offer.

Braino, for the toughest clogs.

I have a sixth sense. Unfortunately it’s only an extra sense of smell.

Is a sense of humor a sixth sense? Where does it stop? Sense of style? Direction?

I met a man with kind eyes, but his mouth was an asshole.

Panic value should not be a medical term. How about “calmly deal with this situation immediately” value? Medical personnel shouldn’t lose their cool in an emergency.

Which is it, “In for a penny, in for a pound” or “Don’t throw good money after bad?”

How can it be good to have a big heart but bad to have an enlarged heart?

I have arrhythmia of the heart. And of the feet, legs, and arms.

A tender heart makes one a good person. A tenderized heart makes one a dead person.

How is “Your heart’s in the right place” a compliment? It just sounds like good news from the cardiologist. If your heart is in the wrong place you’re screwed. Particularly if it’s in the microwave.

Regarding Death

When death would bring a loved one sweet release,
it’s selfish to hope it isn’t granted.
So let them have their well earned peace,
and stop your mourning once they’re planted.

Observation

There is a link you can click on to report mature content. I need a link to report immature content; where’s that?

Timing is everything?

Alas, it appears I chose an inopportune time to begin a blog that is to include restaurant reviews. For, in order to pen (keyboard?) such a review, one must visit such an establishment.

Thanksgiving travel and office seasonal parties having come and gone, I anticipate a return to my usual at-least-weekly outings to culinary enterprises. I don’t believe a review of the Jack in the Box Hearty Breakfast Bowl qualifies, so I’ll just say that the egg to breakfast meat ratio is a bit high for my taste. It could use a bit more cheese, too.

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